The Good, the Bad and the Ugly of last week

Hello my Yogi friends,

I hope this message finds you all well and excited to join in some classes this week.  Thank you all who shared their at home yoga space with me last week- I hope you are loving the online option. I enjoyed seeing the creative spaces that you all designed for a little “Me Time”.

So whew- here is it is Yoga friends, life in my shoes last week…

It was a pretty interesting week as they all have been for most, trying to learn so much in such a short period of time, I felt pretty depleted by the end of the week.  I have to be honest here as well, I wasn’t feeling very yoga-esk and my actions surely proved that to be true- no home practice, eating basically anything that was in front of me to make me feel ‘good’ in the moment, meditation (what is that!), not getting nearly enough sleep (work on my mind+ 3 kids= sleep deprivation), my mind has been racing a million miles a minute about the fear of what will happen to this small business have I have created from grassroots and passion and the worst of it all not being present with my family.  Behind the scenes last week I felt like an impostor and it wasn’t pretty.  Basically I was stressed and my mind and body felt it BIG TIME.   

I have spent countless hours trying to figure out basically 4 new systems and pretend I am a videographer as well with editing capabilities like Michael Kahn who is the best editor in the world and who I am clearly not.  I have been answering students and client questions like I am a Vagaro customer service pro, when I have been frantically messaging my web developer support girl, zoom support, friends who have yoga studios and in times of desperation neighbor Joe next door (just kidding, it hasn’t gotten that bad😊) to get everyone’s questions answered in a timely fashion…in a sense I feel like I am in over my head over here but I will NOT give up; as I hear those words echoing in my head because that is one of the motto of the Mancl household. 

I wanted to share this post with all of you because I want you to see how much I care to keep this practicing of ours going and growing, but also to share these vulnerabilities with you all because this is real and I am real and I feel like the only way we can face all of this together is by being real, right?  We are living in very unique times these days and each day brings about a degree of worry, fear, anxiety, etc… so things have been very heavy for all of us in our own ways.  I have found out the more that I am trying to control the more stressed I feel so I had to stop and step out…literally in the middle of it all.  We loaded up the kiddos and went to the river and I got a glimpse of ‘myself’ again.  It was when I was out in nature with my family- in the moment enjoying hearing them laugh, seeing them run, play and throw rocks in the river, chasing them as we played tagged, the sun was shining- there was an eagle flying.  Everything in the world was right again- I was myself again, remembering what it felt like to let go of control and just be… there is truly something to be said about surrender.  With my family I did and I was replenished with hope, love and joy.

After all of this we got some devastating news about a sudden loss of someone who was close to us… again confusion, uncertainty, anxiety, worry, concern and fear all hit at the same time.  Sadness about this news will surround us for quite some time and the concern of who it has impacted the most will as well.  Life lately has seemed a lot like a roller coaster ride and as much of a risk taker I am I very much dislike roller coasters!!  I need to remind myself that this heaviness won’t last forever, this will pass BUT then there will be another thing and then that will pass and there will be another thing; basically there will always be something that smacks you right in the face when you aren’t looking. So instead of constantly bringing myself into the state of being chased by a saber tooth tiger mode - you know that lovely fight or flight response that surges through your body when your mind is in overwhelm mode; I am releasing my need for control and replacing it with surrender and flow.  Easy right, just flip that switch and it will happen- don’t we all wish… it’s going to take some major awareness to constantly course correct from where I have been to where I need to be, but I am up for the challenge.  So my dear friends as we are all going through some personal/professional challenges of our own right now I invite you to take some time to reconnect, re-prioritize and recharge.  Your mind, body and soul with thank you!

I thank each and everyone of you for sharing your time here with me today!  Till we meet again…

Namaste,

Tarah